Oh, no, you ain't parking here!

Scumbar patrons could not read a NO PARKING sign if their life (or car) depended on it - at least until they were too drunk to stand up.

And even fewer can read a NO PARKING / TOWING ENFORCED sign in the parking lot of a business near Lower Greenville no matter their sobriety.

So it comes as no surprise that some local businesses are about to get really nasty to scumbar patrons who think they can use the parking lot of these establishments in the evenings.

One business in particular - which BD won't name because he likes seeing scumbar patron cars get towed - had a secret signal for employees and customers who used the parking lot after hours. Apparently a local valet company figured out the signal and parked their customer's cars on the parking lot.

As of this weekend, that kind of behavior is gonna get your car towed. The business owner has notified the towing service that any car found on their lot after closing is officially declared a paperweight and can be towed away. It will cost you $200 to get it back.

So the next time you hand your keys to a valet parker, ask them if they really have permission to use that dark empty parking lot across the street. If they stutter, find another place to park.

Like Addison.

By Avi S. Adelman under Public safety , Lower Greenville