Lower Greenville as a metaphor for a war zone. Discuss!

By Avi S. Adelman - Posted on 27 July 2008

When you talk about the problems on Lower Greenville, many people can't believe you are talking about their Lower Greenville.

But as you poke and prod through the semantics, you realize what they are calling an entertainment district is not the area located south of Belmont Avenue, but the area sitting quietly north of Vickery Boulevard.

To paraphrase the late great George Carlin, Lowest Greenville has bars, Lower Greenville has restaurants.

There are 50+ liquor permits of all types for businesses located south of Belmont (in a one-quarter mile strip), most of them in places claiming to be restaurants but really functioning as bars (hint: If their idea of a kitchen is the microwave, it's a bar). Examples include Eight Lounge and Speakeasy. The zoning may say Community Retail, but the sign says Alcoholics Welcome.

There are less than 25 permits for all the businesses located to the north (stopping at Mockingbird), and most of them are really and truly restaurants - for example, Hurricane Bar & Grill and Blue Goose.

Our end of the strip has always been zoned Community Retail, but the City and the property owners really don't pay attention to that distinction.

So while a few thousand well-behaved folks quietly dine in places like Kirby's and Aw Shucks, crowding the streets but not overwhelming them with Hummers and Bimmers, several thousand gangbangers, college kids, and white trash invade the other end every single weekend.

This is not completely an accident, mind you. The property owners see this as a way to make a lot of bucks on old buildings and valet parking. The bar owners like their trashy reputation. And the Lower Greenville Neighborhood Association does all it can (actually, it does nothing at all) to make sure the bad guys never ever invade their territory.

Opposing Resident Parking Only in LGNA-Land keeps them friendly with the restaurants, but BelmontNA's crusade to RPO every street from Belmont south is pushing the garbage north to genteel and quiet streets like Goliad and Palo Pinto. OMIGOD!

Many folks who live on these streets told BD they are offended by his promotion of their streets for free parking for bar patrons. BD opines, Why should they be immune from the garbage (people and cars) that have invaded our streets for the past ten years?

Three more streets south of Belmont will go RPO by the end of the summer. Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim, and the drunks have to park. Somewhere. Preferably free.

Get ready people, cuz BD's putting the Free Parking banner back on the street next weekend. If you were not offended before, you will be by next Sunday morning.

After you get over being offended (and cleaning up the trash), ask your new LGNA-Land Board of Directors why they suck up to the restaurants and oppose Resident Parking Only so much??

The City is trying to fix the parking problem a little bit, with changes in how valet parking is managed.

Let's be realistic - If it's 10pm and the valet is telling you that an empty parking lot is all his not-free parking, do you really think Code Enforcement will swoop out to save you $10???

Even though BelmontNA works for RPO on a non-stop basis, a number of Lowest Greenville's restaurants support (and quietly agree with) our efforts. They want nothing to do with bar patrons and gangbangers who abuse their residential neighbors. Last year, these restaurants donated tons food to the National Night Out event, much of which was forwarded to the DPD Central Division. LGNA's next meeting is catered by the Blue Goose, well-known for the troublesome motorcycle noise and parking every weekend. Even Council Member Angela Hunt has acknowledged the hundreds of complaints on file about the noise (for the last ten years?). But the LGNA is quieter than a Vespa scooter on the issue and it's not ever going to be resolved.

There are a few new restaurants coming into this area, taking the spaces previously occupied by Ali Baba and Avenue Bar/Grille. They are working hard to make sure there is no connection between them and the dysfunctional adults patronizing the bars. Serving real food, having real tables with flowers, art on the wall that does not promote a beer label, and keeping the lights on very high is a good start.

A DPD officer with 20+ years on the force told BD he missed the good ole days, which turned out to be less than 15 years ago. He and just one rookie were responsible for patrolling the east side of Lower Greenville. Just two officers! On the west side, one officer had it all under control.

Now it takes 20+ officers every Friday and Saturday evening - most of them working taxpayer-funded overtime - to keep an eye on several thousand drunks. They can be found standing on each corner in groups of two or three, watching the passing parade of white trash, gangbangers and drunken bridal shower parties. They watch for Lower Greenville version of the bat signal - a blinking white light used as a signal by bar security person to indicate that the police are needed to take out some drunken trash.

And please, don't tell me the bars contribute to the tax base of the City - what few cents from liquor sales tax we get from the state goes right back into paying for all those officers. It's a net loss, not a net gain.

There are DPD officers driving in the neighborhood, enforcing the Resident Parking Only zones - our last and ultimate defense short of fences and cattle prods - against the onslaught of the drunks. But no matter how many streets go RPO, they figure its cheaper to take a parking ticket ($50) than pay for valet parking. This weekend, for example, the DPD towed 11 vehicles to the City Pound on Vilbig (and you thought Lower Greenville was nasty?) and 25 parking tickets issued, far lower than last weekend's 25 towed cars. To be fair, the DPD officer who patrols the eastern side of the neighborhood was off this weekend, which meant the officer assigned to the western side was doing double duty.

Even the fighting between patrons is so much different. The DPD weekend report noted one fight at the M Street Bar, which is probably the only time in the past year a bar north of Vickery gets a mention in the report. Probably two guys arguing over an umpire's call anyways.

But on our end, it's not over till the gangbangers draw some blood, flash their signs and then draw some more blood (see videos below). The DPD weekend report described an aggravated assault at one bar. That is a mild description of one female breaking a beer bottle over the head of another female (no idea why yet). She lost enough blood to cause her to pass out just as the ambulance arrived, but not before tentatively identifying a suspect.

The DPD's attempts at crowd control - these hoods love the smell of fresh blood - resulted in a few more arrests. And that imbroglio led to a confrontation between BD, video camera in hand, and a few gangbangers who decided to show they knew how to count to two (fingers). Yes, they are fine-upstanding sociopaths contributing to the public welfare.

Yeah, just another weekend on Lowest Greevnille. God help us get through the summer.

Post-assault video, as the police were trying to control the crowd and find a suspect... (DPD report - click here)