For those who have lamented, Why don't we see more cops in the neighborhoods, lament no more. We have found them.

They are not hanging out at Dunkin Donuts or any other pastry shop, either.

It's not unusual on any given weekend evening to see at least 15 DPD squad cars, a paddy wagon or two, and maybe 25 officers clustered on all the side streets between Richmond and Alta. Last weekend, BD counted five patrol cars parked on Oram Street while the officers stood on the corner waiting for a fight or two to break out.

A few weekends ago, one DPD officer was assigned to stand on the the strip between the Cavern and Eight Lounge - and for nearly four hours he stood at Eight Lounge's door, talking to the bouncer. If a cop looks like he's working for the bar, and he acts like he's working for the bar, then who is he really working for???

We've been told having all these officers on Lower Greenville do not impact neighborhood patrol efforts. But the budget for regular neighborhood patrols is definitely impacted.

According to numbers released by the DPD Central Division this morning, the DPD spent $430,000 dollars on services provided to all the so-called entertainment districts in the division and other crime reduction efforts (valued at about $45 per hour) [Fiscal Year 2007/2008, ending September 30].

This figure does not include regular, scheduled expenditures, such as a beat sergeant or lieutenant in the area, or services provided by Dallas Fire/Rescue ambulances. Based on our conversations with the police officers, a majority of them are working on Greenville as an overtime assignment.

This figure does not include the St. Patrick's Day parade or caged-rats drinking fest, since the sponsors are supposed to cover expenses for off-duty officers. They are also supposed to pay for cleaning up the mess, but who are we kidding?

The bulk of this money- nearly $233,500 - was spent on Lower Greenville (5,203 hours, or $4,500 per weekend), followed by $43,000 on McKinney Avenue (956 hours, $826 per weekend), $61,000 on Deep Ellum (1,360 hours, $1,200 per weekend) and $94,000 on crime reduction issues (2,098 hours, or $1,800 per weekend) such as solicitation, The Cedars, Burglary of Motor Vehicle reduction, etc.

The reports do not differentiate as to how many officers are standing on the corners, manning the paddy wagon, cleaning the paddy wagon, etc. The money is coming from the DPD Central Patrol's General Overtime Budget, but is not listed as a line item in the City's budget.

There are so many ways to spin these numbers. But let's look at a few ideas-

• Every weekend, nearly 25 cars are ticketed and/or towed for Resident Parking and other violations in the Lower Greenville area. Of the 25 RPO zones in Dallas, 13 are around Lower Greenville and only three are close to Uptown or Cedar Springs. Does that mean the bar patrons in other neighborhoods can read the No Parking signs, and the ones coming to Lower Greenville can't (or won't).
• Do you ever hear anyone complaining about valet parking anywhere else in town? Just skimming through other blogs shows most of the complaints are centered in this area of town.
• Is it a bar, a restaurant or a floor polish? I have a strong network of contacts in other neighborhoods. Besides Northwest Highway and Northwest Dallas in general, Lower Greenville seems to be center of the universe when it comes to so-called restaurants (per their CO) actually being bars. The recently opened Hotel Capri is being touted for its bedroom furnishings, but did anyone actually see a menu, food service or kitchen inside?? I didn't think so.
• Between 15 and 25 persons are arrested each Friday and Saturday evening for public intox, fighting, or other misdeeds in the Lower Greenville area. The local perfume is Eau du Pepper Spray. How many times have you heard of a club on Cedar Springs being the scene of as many fights?
• Please don't tell me liquor taxes pay for all this service. For each dollar of liquor sold, 14 cents in tax is collected for the state budget. Of that 14 cents, we are so lucky if just one cent gets sent back to Dallas. And by the time it gets in our treasury, it's devoted to the general budget and not Lower Greenville. So if the bars sold $250,000 in liquor on Saturday night, they collected $35,000 in taxes. Dallas gets a whopping $350. We know in our hearts the bars are reporting every single dollar of sales they make, don't we? And that honesty would explain why TABC had auditors visit a Lower Greenville bar at midnite Saturday, right??

These numbers are so upside-down around as to be funny. Why not spend just half that money to stop the BMV's, assaults and other issues caused by these bar thugs and their friends when they are on our neighborhood streets? Let them walk to the cars and then arrest them for something besides public intoxication? A few nights in jail instead of the drunk tank, and they won't be bothering us anymore.

It's time to let Darwin's Theory of Evolution be our guiding principle. Instead of arresting the gangbangers for fighting, let them kill each other off. Yes, it's gonna be a little messy, but in a few weeks the bad guys will all be dead, a few more bars will close for lack of business, and some legitimate retail might take over the spaces for a bargain rate.

That's my New Year's wish, but I am keeping my fingers crossed just in case.